WEB SITE TERMS OF USE
Wow! You actually came to this page. Our lawyers made us
include it and made us use a precious button on our home
page to get you here. At first, we thought the lawyers were
a real pain. But then we read the page. What a Netwakening!
It's really important stuff. We took the legalese the
lawyers wrote and translated it into readable English. So be
a smart nethead and read the stuff on this page. It could
prevent you from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet,
from really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you (and people you
like) can use it for personal entertainment, information,
education, communication, and cybergratification. So go
ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download
stuff from the site but only for non-commercial, personal
use. If you do, though, don't fool around with the copyright
and other notices all over the stuff. They're there for a
really good reason. And don't even think about distributing,
modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything
else uncool with any of the stuff, including the text,
images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes
unless we give you written permission. And it's not likely
we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to
[read: stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and
any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the
Internet, the World Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You
shouldn't access or browse the site if you have any problem
with that, because once you start, there's no turning back
-- you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and
conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers
who hang out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything
on the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you
can't use the stuff except how we say you can on this page
or anywhere else on the site without our written permission.
And like we said before, it's not likely we'll give you
permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the
lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it's better
you don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the
site, we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're
not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So
if you use stuff on the site, you're using it at your own
risk. Don't call us if there's a problem because we assume
no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on
the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create,
produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages
you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want
you to know that our disclaimer includes "direct,
incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages
arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without
limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided
to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER
EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE
IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the
exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above
exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for
any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of
implied warranties. " Ugh! What a mouthful from the
mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we
couldn't figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers
would accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're not
responsible if you're browsing around and the site damages
you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses.
We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call
us.
4. If you don't want the world to know something,
don't post in on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace
else. That's because anything you disclose to us is ours.
That's right -- ours. So we can do anything we want with the
stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit
it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We
can even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her
address). Not only that, we can even use any ideas,
concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way we want
to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site
are either our property or someone else's property we're
using with their permission. No matter what, it's definitely
not your property. You or any of your net-friends can't use
it unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else
on the site. And guess what -- we won't say yes. So be
careful, Bunky, because unauthorized use may violate all
sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download
to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and
service marks on the site that either we own or we're using
with someone else's permission. So don't think you have any
kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and
we're not about to give you one. If you don't leave them
alone and mess with our trademarks, logos and service marks
on our site, we'll probably go ballistic, so will the
companies that own the other trademarks, logos and service
marks. That means that we're likely to sue you or to ask a
prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our
property or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've linked our site to
lots of others. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've
looked at all those sites, much less checked them out
periodically to see what's going on. So don't blame us if
some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends
you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but remember, you're
doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site.
While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at
the posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin
boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability
for the content of those locations or for any mistakes,
defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods,
obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter
when you visit such places on our site. And don't be stupid
by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening,
libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory,
pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any
material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal
offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for
that matter violate any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we
certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to
fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or
court which might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff
on our site.
9. Software that we use on this Site is protected by
all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that, you can't
download or send the software to anyone in the vacation
travel spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran, Syria,
or any other country where United States has embargoed
goods; or (get this) to anyone on the United States Treasury
Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals, the
U.S. Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the
FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding on the
last one). As if that were not tough enough, if you live in
or are a national of any of those lovely places, you're not
even supposed to be reading this page, so beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this page and
anything else on the site any time we want to. That's
because it's ours and we have the programmers who can do it.
If we do change the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck
with] those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
11. If either of us wants to make something of it
and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have to follow
these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva
Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of
New South Wales & Johor Bahru, without regard to principles
of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner violated or
threatened to violate PLRSecretsExposed.comand/or its
affiliates' intellectual property rights,
PLRSecretsExposed.comand/or its affiliates may seek
injunctive or other appropriate relief in any state or
federal court in the State of New South Wales & Johor Bahru,
and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such
courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to
first try to resolve it with the help of a mutually
agreed-upon mediator in the following location: Sydney or
Johor Bahru. Any costs and fees other than attorney fees
associated with the mediation will be shared equally by each
of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually
satisfactory solution through mediation, we agree to submit
the dispute to binding arbitration at the following
location: Sydney, under the rules of the American
Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by
the arbitration may be entered in any court with
jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you
should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first
place. We had to remind them that human torture and
sacrifice was outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they
look disappointed!
13 September, 2006
PLRSecretsExposed.com
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